Finding a suitable wife or husband can be difficult for the average person, no matter their race/ethnicity. I strongly believe that there are good people out there worthy of your love and devotion. I believe the problem lies within, and not among the masses. Many of us are depressed because we are single, and it shows on our faces and in our body language which can come across unattractive on even the most beautiful person. Some of us have what we call “biological clocks” that are ticking, and it shows in our demeanor through levels of anxiety that causes us to move things ahead too fast which is also a turn-off. Nothing in life is worth rushing for, especially love. Since we can’t change others, the best thing to do is change ourselves and the way we think, and perceive things. Here are a few tips on ways to re-establish yourself as an approachable person, ready to be swept away by love:

1.       Establish or Re-establish Your Relationship with God

Matthew 18:3 “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Nothing in your life should happen without consulting with God. For everything that you wish to have, to achieve, for every heart’s desire, you need to ask your heavenly Father for it. He is the One who has the power to bring into your life, the perfect person for you by Divine right despite all odds. Pray and ask the Lord not only for a husband or a wife, but to show you how to be a good husband or wife before being one. Ask the Lord to show you how to behave like a man or lady and how to exemplify Christian behavior at all times. This is also a great time to start thinking about your ideal better half, and being specific in these requests to God when praying for love. I recommend praying for knowledge and wisdom, which the Lord will pour out to you in abundance. This tip is essential, and must be the first thing you do to prepare for real, eternal love. Once you have cast your burden of loneliness onto the Lord, and have made your requests, begin to thank the Lord for being a deliverer and understand that He has heard you. Have faith that your day will come, and find joy in knowing this.

2.       Establish a routine for self enhancement

I consider self enhancement to be improving one’s self, or the development of self. This can include a workout program to make sure that your body is strong, flexible, and in the best shape and health that it can possibly be. You should cherish your body as the trophy of your lifestyle. Self enhancement can include an entire lifestyle change that would need you to change the way you eat. A change in nutrition can further improve your body, skin, hair, nails, and mood. Self enhancement can also include putting down the TV remote, and establishing a weekly or bi-weekly beauty day of self-administered facials, manicures, and pedicures. I highly recommend picking up a book such as The Five Love Languages or The Game of Life and How to Play It, and reading it before bed instead of watching TV or movies. Take care of your physical and mental health to boost confidence and improve your thought process. Make a routine out of it so that it becomes second nature.

3.       Position Yourself

In order to meet people, you will have to do more than go to work, go home, and go to bed. You will have to make time to be seen and found by that special someone who God has put aside for you. I recommend going out with friends to sporting events, outdoor activities at parks or festivals, indoor activities such as skating, bowling, etc…If there is nothing to do in your city, consider a road trip to the next largest city near you. Go out and enjoy life. Smile and make eye contact with people so that even if they don’t know your name, they will never forget your face. Have pleasant conversation and a sense of humor. Do these things with the intention to have fun and enjoy life, and not to look for love. Love is never established that way. Love finds you when you least expect it, and usually while you’re having a genuine good time.

4.       Attract the Right Person

If you have done the first step and established, or re-established a relationship with God, then you should not be attracting people who are not of standard. Understand this, nothing that God has put aside for you will be missed. You will never have to compromise self-respect by dressing too revealing to attract the man God has set aside for you. You will never have to spend more money than necessary to attract the woman who God has set aside for you. You will always have the perfect look, the money, and personality to attract the right person for you. Never go overboard trying to impress people because you will impress/attract the wrong person. Here is a harsh truth. The people you date are a mirror image of you. It will be necessary to change your perceptions, your attitude, and your outlook on life, to attract the right person. I highly recommend letting go of any ill feelings towards any ex-relationships. If you have truly followed these steps in order, you will pray for you ex relationships and wish them the best in all that they do. Doing this will allow you to love with an open heart and clear mind of all things that happened in the past. By letting go of a dead relationship, you will allow God to bring new love into your life, that you can establish the correct way.

5.       Establish a Friendship First

Last but definitely not least, you should be establishing a friendship with the person you meet. Never move too fast or make the decision to get married during the euphoric “in love”feeling. Go through all the seasons, and get to know this person. Become best friends, and don’t rush anything. If this person is the one, you will have a lifetime with each other. Therefore, enjoy your present time together. If you believe you are in love, make sure you love them as they are in the present, and make sure the feeling is mutual. You can do this by continuing to do things together. Add this new friend to the invite to sporting events, the festivals, and road trips. Be a true friend. If you’re a lady, never give your friend harsh criticism or make them feel inadequate. If you’re a man, never mislead your friend into a false sense of what the relationship really is and means to you. Don’t do things that married people do until you are married. This will keep the friendship fresh, and allow for your relationship to be established on levels instead of one big plateau. In other words, leave room for growth in the relationship. Once you have spent quality time with each other during the Winter, Fall, Spring, and Summer months, you can officially consider yourselves best friends. Whatever happens after this, may God bless for an eternity!