Ladies and Gents, let me just say that I almost made the dumbest decision this weekend.
After hearing the Ideal Image commercials on the radio here in Atlanta, GA, I decided I would go to a free consultation to see what they were all about. Especially since right now there is a 50% off deal on any treatment or package. For those who don’t know, Ideal Image is a clinic ran by nurses that promises to permanently remove hair from any area of your body, eliminating the need to shave or use hair removal creams ever again in life. They have a state of the art facility, and offer their clients a lifetime membership. The membership is incase hair does (for whatever reason) grow back, you will only have to pay a co-pay to get that area removed. Okay, so now on to my experience.
First of all, lets talk dollars and cents. This procedure is expensive. My main concern areas were my underarms and bikini area. During my consult, I toured the facility. I kind of knew what to expect, because I did my research prior to my visit. The facility looked just like the website. Very clean, and organized. The lady was pretty cool, but I had an early morning consult so she seemed a bit tired. She was yawning during the consult. Anyhoo, we discussed permanently removing hair from my areas of concern. She asked did I want to get the procedure done today, and I said, “Sure!” So she wrote down on a piece of paper how much the procedure would cost. “$4,300! Damn! That’s a used car note. For hair removal?” That was with the 50% off, and for nine treatments. The sales lady made it seem like a great idea. She said the skin in my bikini area would look and feel like the rest of my inner thigh.
The payments would have been spread over a period of 36 months. I figured, “I could eat noodles and rice for three years, drop weight real fast that way.” I qualified for a great deal to finance the procedure. Next thing you know, I was in the waiting room, waiting to be seen by one of the RN nurses for my procedure. I asked the lady at the front desk how bad the laser would hurt because I am a chicken. Keep in mind, I have two tattoos, I had a tongue ring in college, eyebrow piercing, and belly button ring. But I was still nervous. The front desk clerk said, “Oh, it’s not that bad the first time because they put the laser on a low setting. But I recommend the numbing cream, and maybe an asprin.” “Whoa! All that? It must be painful.” She said, “it’s not that bad, you can bear through it.” About 5 minutes later, a lady calls my name, and escorts me into the room for the procedure.
I was instructed to shave my areas that would be treated, and lay down on the table. So I did with the razor provided. I put on the protective eyewear, and laid back, ready to see what the Ideal Image was all about. The nurse said, “Okay, this is going to feel like a hot rubber band rubbing against your skin.” The lady turned off the lights, turned on the laser, grabbed a wooden spatula, and began to zap my wahoo! I was like, “Whoa…that shit hurts.” She said, “yes, the dense areas tend to be more painful.” Now the outer thigh area wasn’t too bad. But as she got closer towards the middle of my…you know; I began to scream, “shit, oh…oh shit..oh shit, okay stop!” It felt like I was being burnt with a lighter on my wahoo! I asked her to go faster, but when she did I started shaking and crying. That shit hurt so bad, OMG! She said she still had 300 more pulses to go. All I could imagine was the scene from the movie, I Spit on Your Grave when the lady was tasered in her private area. That’s how I felt. Like I was being tasered ever so slightly, but on my wahoo. And she was only in the outer region of my bikini area, I could only imagine what it would be like as she got closer to the middle.
I was screaming, and crying so bad that the nurse stopped less than half way through the procedure. She recommended that I get the numbing cream for forty additional dollars and come back. The first time you get the procedure, they ask you not to use the numbing cream, but the second time you can use it because the laser is set to an even more intense level. The numbing cream also has to be ordered, and it takes two weeks to be received. It took me a half hour to pull it together before I went back to the front desk to reschedule. When I did, I decided that I didn’t want to go through with the procedure AT ALL. I asked if I could just cancel everything I had signed up for. The ladies were very nice, and allowed me to cancel. They felt so bad for me, and they should have. They lied to me. It hurts like hell!
If they tell you how bad it hurts, you won’t want to get it. I could have gotten the numbing cream, but I felt like for what they were charging me, they could have just given it to me. Plus, you have to use the numbing cream two hours before, and let it sit on the skin without disruption. I don’t have time for that, sorry. Plus I was traumatized. They cancelled everything, and boy was I happy. I think I’ll stick with shaving powder, that stinks like rotten eggs, but gets rid of the hair in your bikini area without leaving razor bumps. I also decided to use Ambi cream to lighten my inner thigh area.
People: The world is full of people with REAL problems. Before you drop over a thousand dollars for some hair removal bullsh*t… ask if its really worth it. Can you just continue to shave, or use a hair cream remover, or use waterproof body makeup like Dermablend for special occasions to conceal your dark areas? Seriously, it’s not that serious. I saved myself so much money, and pain. I know this post is not like any of my others. That’s because my inner thigh is still twitching. Just thinking about the pain makes me curse. So sorry for those who are offended by the language in this post. But I had to use a strong enough form of expression so you know I am serious when I say, laser hair removal is a muther#$%&!.